When it comes to making the changes to my research essay, I need to make my freaking point more clear in my introduction. There are two different sentences in my essay and it seems like readers can't decide which one is my thesis from there. Also in my first body paragraph, I plan to add in my statistics there rather than in my person experience paragraphs. Along with some other small edits I find in the process of making these bigger changes.
I'm going to add in my essay about senior year being a very stressful time. I personally thought this was one of my strongest essays I've written this semester. It was easy to write to since I'm fresh out of high school. I think it'd be nice in my portfolio.
My reflection essay is definitely going to be fun to think about how I've changed as a writer throughout the semester. I plan to discuss how the mini essay was a preview to see how you as a teacher grade and what is expected, and then go from there and talk about how your teaching style helped me learn a lot this semester.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Monday, November 3, 2014
Favorite Paragraph
My favorite paragraph from my research paper on Gender-Based Violence Awareness
During the civil rights movement, sexual discrimination was formed. Since then sexual harassment has originated and designed to be seen as a separate form of crime from sexual discrimination. Sexual harassment is defined as, “uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical behavior of a sexual nature especially by a person in authority toward a subordinate, as an employee or student” (Merriam-Webster). Women have continued to enter the workforce at increasing numbers within the last decade. Due to the high amount of women working in today’s society, sexual harassment has also grown tremendously.
During the civil rights movement, sexual discrimination was formed. Since then sexual harassment has originated and designed to be seen as a separate form of crime from sexual discrimination. Sexual harassment is defined as, “uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical behavior of a sexual nature especially by a person in authority toward a subordinate, as an employee or student” (Merriam-Webster). Women have continued to enter the workforce at increasing numbers within the last decade. Due to the high amount of women working in today’s society, sexual harassment has also grown tremendously.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Favorite paragraph from my research paper!
Connie Lenart
The paleo diet consists of preferably organic fruits and
vegetables, grass-fed beef, hormone and antibiotic-free meat, some nuts, and
seeds. There are a few vegetables that should be avoided on the paleo diet.
Potatoes and sweet potatoes contain a large amount of starch which turns into
glucose in the body. While glucose is
necessary for the human metabolism, it should be ingested in moderation. Other foods that should be eliminated are
peanuts, legumes, and grains. Legumes, such as lentils, pinto beans, black
beans, soy and peanuts, all contain small amounts of protein and large amounts
of carbohydrates. This can cause a large glycemic response. Grains contain
gluten and which causes inflammation and can lead to disease. Cropped foods,
such as peanuts, grains, and rice, are stored in large masses which cause the
crops to mold and toxins to develop.
This is the main cause of allergies.
clipart
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Favorite Paragraph Steph Welsh
Everyone’s way of living should
not be an open book, we as human beings should have privacy, our lives should
not be in the news, or in court. Being a family is difficult enough, and struggling
to become a married couple only adds to the stress of everyday life. “A year
ago when the State allowing businesses to deny service to gays and lesbians” (Billeaud).
For basic civil rights for gays should one day be the thing of the past. “Some
believe the White House would likely welcome a court ruling allowing the
federal government to disregard state bans on same-sex marriage. I suspect that
the Obama administration would not be in any way disappointed if they lose this
lawsuit (Eidelson)”. Laws can’t define sexual orientation; There are still so many Businesses that
denies homosexuals service, and I believe that is awful disrespectful, and discriminating of human rights.
Clip ArtWednesday, October 29, 2014
Research Paper Favorite Paragraph Assignment
"Speaking from experience, I know how hard it is for a child to go to school when they are constantly getting bullied every single day through social media. My sophomore year of high school, a group of juniors would continue to text me and message me on social media saying hurtful things for absolutely no reason. At this time, I absolutely dreaded going to school because I was constantly in fear that I'd have to face the individuals who bullied me. After a month of ongoing bullying, I asked my parents if I could transfer to a different high school in hopes that the hurtful comments would stop. Instead of pulling me out of my current high school, they told me to stand up for myself and tell administration if I needed to. I was fortunate enough to get the classmates who were bullying me to stop before things got out of hand. I was even able to talk a little with one of my coworkers about his life in public school. His name is Aaron, and he shared with me that he actually dropped out of school in the 6th grade because he was overweight and was so scared to go to school because his classmates would bully him at school, and then continue to bully him on the Internet. It was nearly impossible for Aaron to escape his bullies, he didn't even feel safe in his own house. Aaron was then homeschooled, where he was able to lose weight and gain confidence back. He is now attending Front Range Community College and has so much confidence and is truly a great guy. Although he definitely suffered through multiple years of getting bullied, he was fortunate enough to escape those bullied and have a positive future. Not all bullied victims are able to overcome their bullies. Unfortunately, my classmate that I mentioned before was one of many young adults who just couldn't handle the constant bullying. Alyson Dossat never got to graduate high school or attend senior prom, and unfortunately there are many other things that Alyson will not get to experience all because of cyber-bullying. It is easy to forget or not think of how seriously cyber-bullying can affect individuals until one sits down and think of all the terrible tragedies that have happened due to this crime. Unfortunately, it took losing one of my classmates to realize how traumatizing cyber-bullying can truly be to an individual. However, it seems that no matter how many teenagers we lose, adolescents are still out there bullying."
Monday, October 20, 2014
Research Paper Prospecti Voting
Winning Thesis: "Cyber-bullying is not only illegal, but it is becoming the most popular form of bullying among young adults." By Renee Fannon
For our group choice we decided to pick Renee's thesis point as the best thesis for several reasons. First, we chose it because it's not only an interesting topic, but has also become a major issue in today's world topic. Renee also had an emotional connection to the subject of cyber bullying and has experienced it happening to a close friend of hers. We also chose Renee's thesis because it is a clear and concise thesis.
Blog Review Assignment #2
Blog Rating
caas.blogspot.com- We rated this blog an 8, this blog is not very appealing to the eye because it lacks color and there is so much information in the blog posts that it makes you not want to read it, however the works cited parts at the end of the posts are a cool idea.
wordexplosions.blogspot.com- We rated this blog a 10 because their format was very different and unique. It was very appealing to the eye with lots of color and it was easy to follow, it was amazingly organized.
engcougar.blogspot.com- We rated out blog a 9, the believe that we have a very appealing look to our blog with the tropical background and we also post frequently. The only downside is that one of our members has never posted on the blog.
aka121.blogspot.com- We rated this blog a 6 because it was very boring. It had a white background with hardly any pictures, and made us uninterested in what was posted.
bloggin4eng121.blogspot.com- We rated this blog a 8 because although the background was boring, they had very fun visuals. Such as moving pictures and cartoons.
airr234.blogspot.com- We rated this blog an 8 because we really enjoyed their format and color choices on the blog. The only negative thing about the blog was that they hardly had any visuals which is a requirement.
Blog Argument
When we think of a blog that really grabs our attention and meets our expectations, we think of one blog. Word Explosions is a quality blog that is creative and organized, making this blog our favorite out of our entire class. This phenomenal blog is organized, unique, and is informative. There are several more reasons on why we believe this blog is perfect for any audience, however the three was stated are the most important in our eyes.
From the moment you reach wordexplosions.blogspot.com, you are sucked in to reading all of their blog posts. Their format stands out the most out of any other blogs we have seen, it is easy to navigate and overall appealing to look at. Although it is organized, that doesn't mean that the blog is not unique. The group does a great job at combining organization and creativity, which is a very challenging thing to accomplish. Each post is packed full of creative language to make all of the assignments seem a lot more interesting. Their blog does not come off as a school blog, this a blog that most people would enjoy reading on their own. Clearly this blog is the most outstanding.
For our visual image, we decided to go with a picture that states how we feel about the blog (which is super), and decided to pick a picture that looks like it is exploded out of the blog due to the creative name that this blog has. This picture is bright and colorful and really grabbed out attention. Which is exactly what the blog, word explosions, did for us. The picture as a great color dimension and all of the colors contrast on each other which gives it that eye-popping look. We felt as if this picture suited this blog perfectly.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Chapter 13 Reading Response
I remember being in high school and nobody could tell the difference between argumentative and persuasive papers. It was a huge pet peeve of mine. So when Chapter 13 immediately started off with telling the readers the difference between argumentative and persuasive I was a very happy camper. I know I've said in my previous blog posts that I really enjoy writing papers and I find it rather easy. The same goes for learning about how to better myself as a writer. I really enjoyed this chapter because instead of giving me a lesson, it sort of gave me tips. Rather than saying "first you do this, then you do this" it was more of a "hey, try remembering this the next time you write a paper and you might do better". The best section in this chapter would have to be the "Deduction" portion. Basically, it informed me how I can properly break down my main point into more specific examples. This is something I have had trouble with; overgeneralizing is a major issue. So the fact that this chapter actually broke it down for me rather than just saying "don't overgeneralize", it'll definitely help me in the long run.
Argument Beyond Pro and Con Reading Response
As a child I never once read a comic book or anything along those lines. So hopefully I was able to follow along in the comic and really grasp what the purpose of this writing piece is. From what I was able to dissect from this comic, was that these two main characters were trying to demonstrate how to construct arguments in an essay. Instead of just listing how to construct it, they illustrated examples that nearly every reader would understand. For example, when the characters were discussing the "What, How, Who, Why" factors they used the story of the Goldy Locks and the three bears. This is an old tale that a majority of people have heard of, so using this story to explain Claims and Evidence it helped me grasp the lesson a lot easier.
In the future, I know I can use this little comic story if I ever forget how to construct argumentative essays. Although I know the difference between persuasive and argumentative, it does not mean that I sometimes have trouble sticking only to argumentative. However, this comic will come very handy in the future and will definitely help me if I ever forget what should go into an argumentative paper.
I remember being in high school and nobody could tell the difference between argumentative and persuasive papers. It was a huge pet peeve of mine. So when Chapter 13 immediately started off with telling the readers the difference between argumentative and persuasive I was a very happy camper. I know I've said in my previous blog posts that I really enjoy writing papers and I find it rather easy. The same goes for learning about how to better myself as a writer. I really enjoyed this chapter because instead of giving me a lesson, it sort of gave me tips. Rather than saying "first you do this, then you do this" it was more of a "hey, try remembering this the next time you write a paper and you might do better". The best section in this chapter would have to be the "Deduction" portion. Basically, it informed me how I can properly break down my main point into more specific examples. This is something I have had trouble with; overgeneralizing is a major issue. So the fact that this chapter actually broke it down for me rather than just saying "don't overgeneralize", it'll definitely help me in the long run.
Argument Beyond Pro and Con Reading Response
As a child I never once read a comic book or anything along those lines. So hopefully I was able to follow along in the comic and really grasp what the purpose of this writing piece is. From what I was able to dissect from this comic, was that these two main characters were trying to demonstrate how to construct arguments in an essay. Instead of just listing how to construct it, they illustrated examples that nearly every reader would understand. For example, when the characters were discussing the "What, How, Who, Why" factors they used the story of the Goldy Locks and the three bears. This is an old tale that a majority of people have heard of, so using this story to explain Claims and Evidence it helped me grasp the lesson a lot easier.
In the future, I know I can use this little comic story if I ever forget how to construct argumentative essays. Although I know the difference between persuasive and argumentative, it does not mean that I sometimes have trouble sticking only to argumentative. However, this comic will come very handy in the future and will definitely help me if I ever forget what should go into an argumentative paper.
Connie Lenart Chap 13 cont.
Ethos, Pathos, and Logos three basic persuasion:
Logos are logical appeals-reasonable appeals, thoughtful, good reason, and evidence.
Pathos appeal to emotions (feelings) speak to your audience.
Ethos ethical appeal establish credibility being fair.
Argument Beyond Pro and Con
The cartoon was explaining the same as ch 13, however the pictures were helpful to visualize the situation.
Connie Lenart
Chap 13
When writing argumentation verses persuasion, persuasion shows emotion, passion, and is one-sided, the subject is first-person. Argumentation is balanced, debate format, reasonable, objective, counterclaims, third-person. There are three parts to an argument give reasons, you must have a counter argument. See another persons views don't make it personal. Present your argument, have a counter argument, and re-buttle. Ask questions and give reasons. Persuade your opinion give your side of the argument without winning. You need specific reasons, give details, state your opinion, give examples. Give two or three reasons this will strengthen your argument. This will make your writing more persuasive for your audience by giving reasons and examples. You want to persuade your reader into agreeing with you. Have a clear position don't sit on the fence choose one side or the other. In your introduction make it interesting or controversial. Thesis, state your position claim topic and your opinion on it. The body is for reasons and details. Give three good reasons and additional details. Then you need a counter argument- opposing view; reader will recognize both sides. State why your opinion is so strong sound persuasive. Use simple factual statements, recognize your audience, agree, focus, and then take action. Keep your tone upbeat and positive bring them to your side, convince them your side is correct. Use examples, facts, statistics, and experts for evidence.
Chap 13
When writing argumentation verses persuasion, persuasion shows emotion, passion, and is one-sided, the subject is first-person. Argumentation is balanced, debate format, reasonable, objective, counterclaims, third-person. There are three parts to an argument give reasons, you must have a counter argument. See another persons views don't make it personal. Present your argument, have a counter argument, and re-buttle. Ask questions and give reasons. Persuade your opinion give your side of the argument without winning. You need specific reasons, give details, state your opinion, give examples. Give two or three reasons this will strengthen your argument. This will make your writing more persuasive for your audience by giving reasons and examples. You want to persuade your reader into agreeing with you. Have a clear position don't sit on the fence choose one side or the other. In your introduction make it interesting or controversial. Thesis, state your position claim topic and your opinion on it. The body is for reasons and details. Give three good reasons and additional details. Then you need a counter argument- opposing view; reader will recognize both sides. State why your opinion is so strong sound persuasive. Use simple factual statements, recognize your audience, agree, focus, and then take action. Keep your tone upbeat and positive bring them to your side, convince them your side is correct. Use examples, facts, statistics, and experts for evidence.
Steph Welsh
30 September 2014
English 121
Argument beyond pro and con
What stuck
out to me the most was how this cartoon tried to make me understand the pro,
and con of an argument .It did surprised me was a just having a conversation
are actually where an academic arguments starts. Nothing really excited me or
angered me, I like reading the comic in stand of the reading another chapter. I
understood more about pro and con of an argument essay by seeing the WHAT
(facts) HOW (circumstances) WHO relationships) WHY (reasons) (Issue 4).As an
student it is important to get your argument right gather all the information
and make sure you can back it up.
Steph Welsh
30 September 2014
English 121
Chapter 13
Reading
chapter 13 gave a lot of argumentation
and persuasion examples, to try and understand. What stuck out the most to me
was the essay on should juvenile offenders be tried as adults? I do feel the
argument is good what should the courts do to juvenile that commit serious
crimes. From twelve to seventeen are they real criminals or are they just
babies trying to get away with murder. In my opinion at the age of twelve you
already know the difference between right and wrong, and that is where adult
crime adult time should come in no matter what age you are.
It
still surprising after all these years that we are still dealing with what to
do when children commit serious crimes. We have more children nowadays than
ever before it’s time to change the system .Did I learn anything new yes did
not realize how many kids that lock up for murder. It angers the excuses we are
making for the children that commit serious crimes. And no I have no experience
in the problem we are having with children committing serious crime.
My
professional reaction for chapter 13 is making sure you get your argument
straight before your try to back it up. Get your audience and your purpose, and
then get your supporting details.
·
Logos: refers to the sound reasoning of the
argument.
·
Pathos: refers to the emotional component of
persuasion.
·
Ethos: refers to establishing your honesty,
integrity, and reliability so your reader will trust you and, therefore,
believe what you say (575).
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
ATTACK OF THE ENGLISH TEACHER
By Renee Fannon
From observing "Attack of the English Teacher" I was able to learn see how each of the students has their own creative twist on each of their posts. Actually, the first post I saw was about this very same assignment and the author was actually reviewing our blog. I thought that was ironic, and also his statements about the name of our blog made me giggle. Another student had a really eye catching title "Student Blog Battle!" in big bold letters really caught my attention and made me want to read their review. As any English student knows, a strong piece of writing always needs to have something to hook you into reading. This author did an excellent job at grabbing my attention, so A+ on that!
As far as constructive criticism goes, the posts were really different and I loved that about the blog. However, the background is a little boring. The background was just plain books, if I was too have stumbled across this blog on the internet I would probably close out of it due to the fact that their background is just rows and rows of books. Do something a little more exciting! You're blog name is fun and creative, so this blog group should obtain that same creative and fun tone even throughout the background!
Their frequency of posts is just as I expected. All of the members of the group seem to post when they are supposed to and ALL member contribute to the posts! Their blog is easy to follow, there are clear headings so I know exactly when a new post is beginning. They are very organized in a good way. The actual content of the writing is fun to read and I actually found myself reading many of their posts! I really enjoyed visiting this blog, and who knows, maybe I'll check it out again!
By Renee Fannon
From observing "Attack of the English Teacher" I was able to learn see how each of the students has their own creative twist on each of their posts. Actually, the first post I saw was about this very same assignment and the author was actually reviewing our blog. I thought that was ironic, and also his statements about the name of our blog made me giggle. Another student had a really eye catching title "Student Blog Battle!" in big bold letters really caught my attention and made me want to read their review. As any English student knows, a strong piece of writing always needs to have something to hook you into reading. This author did an excellent job at grabbing my attention, so A+ on that!
As far as constructive criticism goes, the posts were really different and I loved that about the blog. However, the background is a little boring. The background was just plain books, if I was too have stumbled across this blog on the internet I would probably close out of it due to the fact that their background is just rows and rows of books. Do something a little more exciting! You're blog name is fun and creative, so this blog group should obtain that same creative and fun tone even throughout the background!
Their frequency of posts is just as I expected. All of the members of the group seem to post when they are supposed to and ALL member contribute to the posts! Their blog is easy to follow, there are clear headings so I know exactly when a new post is beginning. They are very organized in a good way. The actual content of the writing is fun to read and I actually found myself reading many of their posts! I really enjoyed visiting this blog, and who knows, maybe I'll check it out again!
Connie Lenart
Sept. 23, 2014
In class review of group blogs
The frequency of post on eng1blogger.blogspot.com were on average one per week. It seems they have spent a fair amount of time on this blog post. The writing skills seem excellent. They have a lot of knowledge and information on their posts. Organization and clarity are well organized and clear. Aesthetically pleasing is lacking. There is not much color a little boring. I would have enjoyed it more if there were color or more images. It was very user-friendly.
Sept. 23, 2014
In class review of group blogs
The frequency of post on eng1blogger.blogspot.com were on average one per week. It seems they have spent a fair amount of time on this blog post. The writing skills seem excellent. They have a lot of knowledge and information on their posts. Organization and clarity are well organized and clear. Aesthetically pleasing is lacking. There is not much color a little boring. I would have enjoyed it more if there were color or more images. It was very user-friendly.
Steph
Welsh
September
22, 2014
English 121
Drunk
Writer Talk
Drunk Writer Talk
By going through this blog I have
found it very organized the students that are part of drunk writer talk are not
in any way intoxicated, they definitely know what there are doing. In my opinion
it looks like they have spent hours putting it together. The organization looks
very sophisticated, like something you would find in a dictionary.
The design is
very advanced; definitely intelligent individuals put this together. The
pictures that are posted makes it look very attention-grabbing like something I
would stop and read. Even though the writing is very small it helps it look
very professional.
I have found this blog very creative and easy to understand,
and the information and style is easy to stay focused, and what a very good job
on putting this blog together.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Steph Welsh
September 16th 2014
English 121
Chapter 7
Exemplification
All the examples that stuck out to me were about the
same, there are always two sides to every story. Surprising nothing surprised
me, all the essays in chapter #7, in my opinion appeared to be not made up. It
appeared it occurred a long time ago, but it still goes on today.
The discrimination against race how much money you have and
where you live, should not go on in today’s world, and I think the worst is the color of your skin.
I leaned to get all the facts before you start writing,
make sure you get all the examples that you can come up with and be able to
back it up, it’s really important.
The anger
that sit in when I was reading “On Being the Target of Discrimination” (page
262). Children are not born to discriminate they are taught some at a very
young age. Some kids grow up doing the same thing that their parents do, and
that makes me sad that discrimination still goes on nowadays. I have had many
problems with discrimination because of my color of skin, where I went to
school, and how I speak has always worked against me.
As a
student I think it is important to make sure you are not copying anyone else’s
homework. Gather your own examples support your own details and write with the
best of your own knowledge
. (Clip Art)
. (Clip Art)
In Class Thingie
1. What is his "Freaking Point"?
"But what about lifosuction- the removal from one's biography of innocuous yet somehow unsightly elements that happen to be true?"
2. Count the number of examples
After reading this article, we decided it was nearly impossible to actually count the number of examples. However, we created a ballpark between 25-30...at least.
3. Book Questions
Reading Closely and Thinking Critically
Question 1: People engage in lifosuction for the removal of their biography of innocuous but still remain unsightly elements that happen to be true.
Question 2: We believe that Murphy is trying to say that lifosuction is not a big deal because to some sort of degree we all partake in lifosuction. It is a way for us to not be judged in our society, just some people take it to a whole new level.
Question 3: From all the examples that Murphy has given during this article, it seems like he is giving both harmless examples and also not so harmless examples. In one part he talks about how someone earned their degree, but in another he talks about how someone earned an award for something that he didn't actually do. So it's hard to say whether he is using harmless examples.
Question 4: Multiple of Murphy's examples are from famous people, so removing their privileges make it seem like they started from the bottom and made it to the very top, making themselves seem more inspirational.
Question 5: Menino's comment was "You're just trying to dig up dirt on me". This is very ironic because all they were doing was bringing up the fact that he earned a degree, which is a very good thing. He almost seems like he is ashamed of it.
Examining Structure
Question 1: The thesis that we addressed earlier is still a very general thesis, it does not narrow down on a specific person. Although most of his examples are very specific and talk about certain people; in paragraph 8 they discuss how "we all permit ourselves to some degree of cosmetic suppression", therefore making it more relatable to readers.
Question 2: The tone of this essay is informative without being judgmental. It gives great examples to really make sure you grasp the topic of "lifosuction", without being extremely boring. It is also very straight forward and it is fluently like this throughout the entire essay.
Question 3: The examples in paragraph 3 contrast with the examples in the rest of the essay by using factual examples and many of them. The author uses these examples to add support to not only the rest of his examples, but also to his thesis.
Question 4: Murphy introduces many of his topic sentences with examples, this can be seen through out the paragraphs 1,2,3,6, and 7.
Question 5: Murphy uses Spatial order to illustrate and organize is examples.
Considering Language and Style
Question 1: We believe that Murphy uses Lifosuction as a clever word as he uses it in the same sense to the word lipo suction, describing that people may alter their lives to the way they want them to be portrayed, he also uses this in the tense that more people should be encouraging others to use this for of detachment from public view.
Question 2: Tribune: An official in ancient Rome chosen by the plebeians to protect their interest.
Dint: A blow or a stroke, typically made with a weapon in fighting.
Cadre: A small group of people specially trained for particular purpose or profession.
Pugilist: A boxer especially a professional one.
Proletariat: Workers or working class people;regarding collectively (often used with reference to Marxism.)
4. Our "Freaking Points"
Renee- "Senior year for a high school students is one of the most stressful times in a teenagers life."
Colter- "In bringing us closer, technology has actually torn us away from each other in the forms of social media and cellphones."
Steph- "A surprising moment for a woman is the moment she finds out she is having a child."
Brittney- "There are many perspectives associated with the way women are portrayed and meant to be perceived through television and the media."
1. What is his "Freaking Point"?
"But what about lifosuction- the removal from one's biography of innocuous yet somehow unsightly elements that happen to be true?"
2. Count the number of examples
After reading this article, we decided it was nearly impossible to actually count the number of examples. However, we created a ballpark between 25-30...at least.
3. Book Questions
Reading Closely and Thinking Critically
Question 1: People engage in lifosuction for the removal of their biography of innocuous but still remain unsightly elements that happen to be true.
Question 2: We believe that Murphy is trying to say that lifosuction is not a big deal because to some sort of degree we all partake in lifosuction. It is a way for us to not be judged in our society, just some people take it to a whole new level.
Question 3: From all the examples that Murphy has given during this article, it seems like he is giving both harmless examples and also not so harmless examples. In one part he talks about how someone earned their degree, but in another he talks about how someone earned an award for something that he didn't actually do. So it's hard to say whether he is using harmless examples.
Question 4: Multiple of Murphy's examples are from famous people, so removing their privileges make it seem like they started from the bottom and made it to the very top, making themselves seem more inspirational.
Question 5: Menino's comment was "You're just trying to dig up dirt on me". This is very ironic because all they were doing was bringing up the fact that he earned a degree, which is a very good thing. He almost seems like he is ashamed of it.
Examining Structure
Question 1: The thesis that we addressed earlier is still a very general thesis, it does not narrow down on a specific person. Although most of his examples are very specific and talk about certain people; in paragraph 8 they discuss how "we all permit ourselves to some degree of cosmetic suppression", therefore making it more relatable to readers.
Question 2: The tone of this essay is informative without being judgmental. It gives great examples to really make sure you grasp the topic of "lifosuction", without being extremely boring. It is also very straight forward and it is fluently like this throughout the entire essay.
Question 3: The examples in paragraph 3 contrast with the examples in the rest of the essay by using factual examples and many of them. The author uses these examples to add support to not only the rest of his examples, but also to his thesis.
Question 4: Murphy introduces many of his topic sentences with examples, this can be seen through out the paragraphs 1,2,3,6, and 7.
Question 5: Murphy uses Spatial order to illustrate and organize is examples.
Considering Language and Style
Question 1: We believe that Murphy uses Lifosuction as a clever word as he uses it in the same sense to the word lipo suction, describing that people may alter their lives to the way they want them to be portrayed, he also uses this in the tense that more people should be encouraging others to use this for of detachment from public view.
Question 2: Tribune: An official in ancient Rome chosen by the plebeians to protect their interest.
Dint: A blow or a stroke, typically made with a weapon in fighting.
Cadre: A small group of people specially trained for particular purpose or profession.
Pugilist: A boxer especially a professional one.
Proletariat: Workers or working class people;regarding collectively (often used with reference to Marxism.)
4. Our "Freaking Points"
Renee- "Senior year for a high school students is one of the most stressful times in a teenagers life."
Colter- "In bringing us closer, technology has actually torn us away from each other in the forms of social media and cellphones."
Steph- "A surprising moment for a woman is the moment she finds out she is having a child."
Brittney- "There are many perspectives associated with the way women are portrayed and meant to be perceived through television and the media."
Chapter 7 Exemplification
As I read through Chapter 7, I made the observation that this chapter briefly talks about "generalizing" and how using examples can help you narrow down a broad statement. What I found interesting was how it seems as if in multiple chapters of this book they talk about how to not over generalize whether it is in an argumentative paper or persuasive paper. Although they would give you tips on how to avoid generalizing too much, they never once gave you the tip to give examples. Perhaps it is because they decided to make an entire chapter out of it. However, I find that this would probably be the most effective way to avoid over generalizing. I'm sure in pervious writing pieces I have used this technique without even second guessing it. One thing that I did never think of taking into consideration is "Combining Patterns for A Purpose"; specifically I have never thought of narrating a scene or topic instead of just describing it through the five main senses.
From a professional point of view, I believe that "Hypothetical Examples" is definitely something I will take into consideration next time I am writing a paper. I always seem to get stuck trying to think of examples, however I never thought of taking hypothetical examples. I believe that making hypothetical examples rather than examples from my life is a way to get the readers attention better. Mainly because if I use an example that a larger number of people know then the readers can relate which will draw in their attention. However, something I have noticed is that many ads use hypothetical examples like when they are selling a product. They say stuff like "How many times have you wished you had a towel that absorbs all the mess instantly?"....well actually I have never wished that because it's honestly not something I think about every single day. Either way, this one little section is definitely going to help me in the long run.
As I read through Chapter 7, I made the observation that this chapter briefly talks about "generalizing" and how using examples can help you narrow down a broad statement. What I found interesting was how it seems as if in multiple chapters of this book they talk about how to not over generalize whether it is in an argumentative paper or persuasive paper. Although they would give you tips on how to avoid generalizing too much, they never once gave you the tip to give examples. Perhaps it is because they decided to make an entire chapter out of it. However, I find that this would probably be the most effective way to avoid over generalizing. I'm sure in pervious writing pieces I have used this technique without even second guessing it. One thing that I did never think of taking into consideration is "Combining Patterns for A Purpose"; specifically I have never thought of narrating a scene or topic instead of just describing it through the five main senses.
From a professional point of view, I believe that "Hypothetical Examples" is definitely something I will take into consideration next time I am writing a paper. I always seem to get stuck trying to think of examples, however I never thought of taking hypothetical examples. I believe that making hypothetical examples rather than examples from my life is a way to get the readers attention better. Mainly because if I use an example that a larger number of people know then the readers can relate which will draw in their attention. However, something I have noticed is that many ads use hypothetical examples like when they are selling a product. They say stuff like "How many times have you wished you had a towel that absorbs all the mess instantly?"....well actually I have never wished that because it's honestly not something I think about every single day. Either way, this one little section is definitely going to help me in the long run.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Reading Response: Examining Exemplification
Chapter 7 of the
textbook Patterns For a Purpose evaluates the use of Exemplification, which is:
“A PATTERN OF DEVELOPMENT that uses specific instances (examples) to clarify a
point, add interest, or persuade (Clouse 234).”
What I found most enjoyable and informational about this chapter was the
amount of options that can be used when incorporating exemplification into
writing. Chapter seven described in
great detail the variety of purposes and ways exemplification can be used, for
example exemplification can be used for several different purposes beyond
academic essay writing, when building a resume for employment purposes
exemplification can be used, as well as for business and community purposes
when trying to persuade one of something.
Further more exemplification can be used in many different forms, some
of which include description, use of factual information, narration, compare
and contrast as well as cause and effect analysis.
I
especially enjoyed the example of exemplification used by Ralph Ellison, “On
Being the Target of Discrimination (262).” Ellison uses an array of
exemplifications by combining his own experiences and feelings of being the
target of discrimination when experiencing discrimination and desegregation as
a child. Ellison incorporates the uses
of description and narration through his essay as great examples. In conclusion this chapter has also shown me
that critical thinking continues to carry over from previous chapter readings
when evaluating exemplification writings. As described on page 241 “Are the examples
real or made up?” and “Are there enough examples in enough detail?” These are
critical questions I found will come in handy when using exemplification my
own writings.
"Reading" Images
The image picked by our blog group did not have a name; however what we do know is that it was created to be used as a computer desktop background. The image itself illustrates fine art; yet it is a digital image that mimics an oil painting. An observation that we made was that there were multiple different images similar to the one we picked. Everyone image of this "series" involved that same art elements we found that stood out the most such as color, line, and shadowing. If we were to name this piece of work, we would name it "The Romantic Walk", there are many reasons why we all thought of the same similar ideas when we saw this picture and it was all due to the art elements we were taught in class.
Let's start off with color. This piece of artwork is vibrant, and very dramatic. It uses bold, contrasting colors that stand out instantly. The leaves on the trees are all done with very big brushes that almost look like they were just "dotted" on the image to make it look like leaves. However, we believe that the main purpose was to show off the color, not the leaves; which explains why they aren't more realistic colors. Also, they use of colors such as the reds, blues, and oranges make you feel passionate, calm, and warm. They all clash (in a good way) to make you feel a variety of different positive feelings, almost romantic. Next, lets talk about the shading, the artist of this art piece did an excellent job of making this piece of work appear "wet" buy making it very glossy to give the effect that it is raining on this "romantic walk". There are multiple reflections on the pathway of the trees, the two humans, and of the lights that line that pathway.
As far as the art element of lines, we believe that there are two "lines" that lead you to the main purpose of this picture. A part of us believed that the long, lanky trees lead you up to the vibrantly colored leaves. While another part of us believed that the illuminated, bright lights guided you down this pathway that the two people are walking down. Either way, they both lead you to the couple walking down this path. For texture, the painting looks rainy and glossy giving the illusion of rain. The leaves look they would feel as normal leaves do; bumpy and ridged. Also, this entire image looks as if it was created using short, sharp strokes with a large brush. There is not a single smooth brush stroke on this image, which makes it unique.
The image picked by our blog group did not have a name; however what we do know is that it was created to be used as a computer desktop background. The image itself illustrates fine art; yet it is a digital image that mimics an oil painting. An observation that we made was that there were multiple different images similar to the one we picked. Everyone image of this "series" involved that same art elements we found that stood out the most such as color, line, and shadowing. If we were to name this piece of work, we would name it "The Romantic Walk", there are many reasons why we all thought of the same similar ideas when we saw this picture and it was all due to the art elements we were taught in class.
Let's start off with color. This piece of artwork is vibrant, and very dramatic. It uses bold, contrasting colors that stand out instantly. The leaves on the trees are all done with very big brushes that almost look like they were just "dotted" on the image to make it look like leaves. However, we believe that the main purpose was to show off the color, not the leaves; which explains why they aren't more realistic colors. Also, they use of colors such as the reds, blues, and oranges make you feel passionate, calm, and warm. They all clash (in a good way) to make you feel a variety of different positive feelings, almost romantic. Next, lets talk about the shading, the artist of this art piece did an excellent job of making this piece of work appear "wet" buy making it very glossy to give the effect that it is raining on this "romantic walk". There are multiple reflections on the pathway of the trees, the two humans, and of the lights that line that pathway.
As far as the art element of lines, we believe that there are two "lines" that lead you to the main purpose of this picture. A part of us believed that the long, lanky trees lead you up to the vibrantly colored leaves. While another part of us believed that the illuminated, bright lights guided you down this pathway that the two people are walking down. Either way, they both lead you to the couple walking down this path. For texture, the painting looks rainy and glossy giving the illusion of rain. The leaves look they would feel as normal leaves do; bumpy and ridged. Also, this entire image looks as if it was created using short, sharp strokes with a large brush. There is not a single smooth brush stroke on this image, which makes it unique.
Chapter 7
Connie Lenart
Chapter 7 is extremely important to
help with writing. We use examples daily in our everyday lives. Examples help
us to explain things and clarify what we are trying to say. The point we are
trying to make to help our audience to understand what we are writing. We
should be careful about over generalizing we must make sure the examples we are
using are fact and not fiction. There are a number of times that we might use
exemplification. We will defiantly use it in school, the workplace, and the
community, sending a letter to friend or running for a political position. We
must always remember how important it is to organize details when writing. We
can also use pictures, cartoons, and, graphs to help explain things.
The essays in chapter 7 were
somewhat interesting, however I really enjoy reading three of them. I liked
reading the one on discrimination, the homeless, and “Reunion.” The other ones
I found very boring and too much information in them. Too many names and facts
I felt somewhat confused when reading them. They did not keep my attention. I
felt as though I could relate to the other essays I mentioned above. The essays
about discrimination and homelessness is something we witness pretty much on a
daily basis. I find it very sad but true. The “Reunion” essay was my favorite I
found it very funny I wish it would have been a little longer and maybe a
different ending but overall it made me laugh.
Clipart
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Infliction Assignment
The infliction that our team decided to pick is "Assuming that what is true for one person is true for everybody". In our own words, this definition means that no matter where you go and what environment you are in people will always assume that everyone feels/is capable of the same things. This is seen in places such as ads and goes as far as the workplace. For ads, the constructors of the ads always assume that everyone is the same and never singles out a group of people. However, this is effective because it puts the idea in your mind that everyone needs this product. But as we all know, this is not true. In the workplace, bosses and other employees always assume that because one employee can do a task, all the employees can do the task. It is a giant double standard. It's like a one size fits all.
To avoid this infliction, the most simple way to do so is just not to assume that everyone thinks the same/feels the same about a certain thing. One way to do is, just be more open minded and be able to see other people's view points. Don't believe that because you think one way that everyone thinks the same way. This is not wrong, it's actually quite normal. Everyone has their own unique mind, so we should remember that when we go to write an argumentative paper or persuasive paper.
Monday, September 8, 2014
Life Hacker Blog Review
September 8, 2014
September 8, 2014
The "Hacking Your Mind" article is a psychology article discussing the study of how being overtired effects you from being productive in certain times of the day. So from the members of our group, Renee was attracted to this article the most because she is majoring in psychology. The "How to Throw A Punch Correctly" article is completely different from the previous article. Basically the article discusses how to truly punch someone and then goes into how to stage a punch. Our teacher, Jenn Zuko, actually contributed to this article by performing how to stage a punch. I think it is safe to say that all of us were interested to find out what goes on behind the scenes.
Life Hacker has articles for everyone out there and clearly attracts a large variety of different readers, which in result makes this blog quite popular. If you have a question, Life Hacker has an answer (more than likely). Along with attracting multiple different audiences, the blog is very fluent with their posting and there is at least one post that gets uploaded every single day. There is always something new on the blog, which is why our group decided to pick this one as our personal favorite.
As far as the structure of the blog, this blog is equipped with easy to read articles, useful images and visuals, and the blog is all around easy to navigate. I think we've all come across a website that was an eye sore and was impossible to follow around; however with this blog anyone can learn how to navigate within the first time of visiting the blog.
There is no doubt in our minds that this blog is perfect for everyone and deserves a 10 out of 10 rating.
As far as the structure of the blog, this blog is equipped with easy to read articles, useful images and visuals, and the blog is all around easy to navigate. I think we've all come across a website that was an eye sore and was impossible to follow around; however with this blog anyone can learn how to navigate within the first time of visiting the blog.
There is no doubt in our minds that this blog is perfect for everyone and deserves a 10 out of 10 rating.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Chapter 5 Descriptive Writing Response
While
reading chapter 5 there were many points that stuck out to me concerning proper
use of description patterns within writing.
I learned how important it is to be able to know how to properly express
what you, as the writer is feeling through words. Therefore, descriptive
observations of feelings, smells and visuals are extremely vital to a good
writing, or as the text states, “observe, describe and evaluate (Clouse pg122).” In addition, I was surprised to see how much
description plays into such a wide variety of workplace demands. Furthermore I
learned that descriptions are critical to a writer in a specific way that can either
make or break a writers soul objective. I especially thought the objective and
expressive detail points were important being that they open up a writer’s
options, allowing them to choose which view points they would like to go with.
Along with what type of view point they would like to build their writing upon,
for example choosing an emotional stand point opposed to a factual one could
make a big difference when considering the audience and purposes of the
writing. Lastly,
the expressive detail examples listed on page 125 were especially inspiring to
me. I found myself wanting to read more and more as the descriptive detail
sucked me in and left me thinking, “wow…this is how I want to write.” In
addition one of the most important points which stuck out to me when
considering descriptive word usage was that instead of using a dictionary or
thesaurus to get a point across, simply spicing up general nouns in replace of
specific nouns can provide an overall more efficient reading experience. In
addition, when going back to read the final draft it will be obvious that the
use of descriptive words can make all the difference, “specific words are more descriptive
(Clouse pg126).”
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